Steel
by Evil's Misstress
Summary: Setsuna Meioh is me hero. This is my parallel to her life and love.
1. Eyes

Personally names are over rated, you may substitute your own and what ever else floats your boat. No names shall be added, to protect the guilty. Ever now and then I pretend it's not me, but my beloved Meioh Setsuna.

He looked into her steel blue eyes. She had the look of...well she had that look. One expression her porcelain face that could mean any of the various emotions running untamed throughout her frail body. There was a slight difference amidst them all. This time it was a hybrid; one look of innocence, jealousy, and pain. With those eyes, anything was possible.

He just couldn't bear to look. Her face was made of iron, but those eyes were awaiting an answer, one she knew she would not receive. She stared at him, at a loss for words. She had just spilled out her heart right for him, wishing for the favor to be returned. Upon the ground lay what used to be her soul, he seemed to just waltz through the puddle unscathed. 'That heartless cruel man.' He walked away and joined up with the 'Benedict Arnold,' - a girl that she had once called friend. All at once she knew where she stood with him - out of the picture. He had his own secret love that was now shared by that... vindictive woman.

This wasn't the first time that something like this had happened. Alas, it is bound to go on in the vicious circle until she was away from it all. She had to run away. She couldn't stand to look at the infidelity any more. There was nothing that could be done to stop it, though she could have had the power to stop it. All she had to do was to tell the supposed ally to stop, but it was she that needed to stop and let it go. Before it had been easy; the man had left, gone from their lives forever, or at least she hoped. This time was different for when she caught them; there had been nothing to say to him. This time he wasn't leaving town, like the last time a man broke her heart with the same woman. Now she would be forced to see them everyday, and everyday have her heart broken at the sight of the lovebirds.

She ran away to hide in the depths of her mind, she heard a familiar voice that should have been banished ages ago. The voice called to her that it was time to let it take the controls of her mind and all would be well. She knew that her alter ego would do the harm that she subconsciously wished upon the two traitors.

"They are not traitors," she argued, "they only found the love that I so desperately desired. They don't deserve your cruelties!"

"As you surely don't deserve theirs. My child, they will learn once and for all that they cannot hurt you in this way, and leave you to die in your pain!" the voice declared comfortingly. "Please, I can do you good. I won't disappointment you as your so called comrades do."

"No they love me and you can't hurt them, I won't let you!" she interjected angrily.

"If they loved you, then why did they do this to you?"

"I could have stopped it..."

"Could you have though? Face it, No matter what you said or did, their love would have flourished with or with out your consent!"

"NOOOOOO!" she cried helplessly as she was forced into the depths of her mind by the voice. She knew it was all true. She just sat there and listened to how her friends had deceived and tricked her. The voice with its smooth undertones of jealousy, rage, passion, and revenge, drove her to let go. She was now lost, though she knew exactly where she was. She was drowning in her own pit of despair.

Her cheeks were tear-stained as she drove home from the hell that had become of the festivities that she was now leaving behind. She fought with the voice as she wandered the town aimlessly. She tried to shut out the voice by blaring her music and losing herself there. Though in the background, the other voices; Hatred, Revenge, Innocence, and Deceit, cooed in silent revelry for Jealousy's victory over her.

When she had no more tears to blind her eyes, she found herself on the freeway. She was headed south. An exit about 2 ½ miles from where she was, is where she decided to stop and think a while. She turned off at a truck stop. At the restaurant, she got a bite to eat, and noticed that the place had many customers other than her. She sat there for hours just thinking to herself, but trying to ignoring the taunting and calling from the purgatory that was her subconscious.

"How did this all start?" she questioned herself along with the past few weeks she had spent trying to achieve what was now a hapless dream.

As she sat there with her friends just 'Hangin' Out,' he reached over and placed his arm around her. She shuddered at his touch. He looked for the first time into those eyes that would forever haunt him. He complimented her, and she did the same in return. That was the first meeting of her heart to his cruel flirtatious world.

The next ill-fated meeting was to be a climax point in a bittersweet tale of her one-sided love. She was dancing there with her familiar strangers, when he presented himself to the small crowd. She saw him there as did her friend, the same one who had overshadowed her last time. He picked her friend over her, again. They glided across for what seemed to be hours, he left her standing in the middle of the floor. Then as fate would have it, he walked over to her with his cool strut and picked her as his next unsuspecting victim. They danced together for what seemed a blissful eternity. After tiring themselves they retired to a small seating arrangement and chatted quietly. Then the terrible fool kissed her, not knowing what he was unleashing into the innocent mind of that little girl. That was the day she fell for the insufferable man.

Her body was enveloped by the cold scarf that comes with remembering a lost love. In her mind she cries out endless sobs as she sits at the table in the restraint, alone. She is not alone though, there are still numerous people there enjoying each other's company.

"Alone," whispers the demonic voice, again. "You are all alone my dear...all alone"

"No, you are with me, right?"

"Yes ," corrected the voice quickly, "my sweet, I will forever be with you, and so will they," cooed the voice as the others joined in an ominous chord.

She sighed a heavy moan, and got up from her table leaving a tip for the waitress. As she paced to her car she saw a happy couple kiss and get into their car then drive away. Another tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of what she might never have. She got in her car and drove to the turn offs.

"Which way to go?" she thought, "If I go north I'll be back where I started, back in the mess. What is there for me? I suppose I need to talk to someone other than these kooks inside my head. Man I must be going crazy or something."

"Crazy? Honey if you were crazy I'd tell you," chirped in a voice.

Again she turned up the music and lost herself there trying to escape all worlds, even her own.

A line in a song hit deep somewhere in her head. She began to recall everything he had said to her. He said once, "Be nice to ugly girls, they might have cute friends." This struck her to the core, was she just one of those ugly girls? Did he use her do get to her more beautiful friends?

"How could he do this to me?!" she sniveled, "I know I'm not the most gorgeous of the bunch, but to use me!" Yet a second time she cried till no more tears would come.

"You are weak, my friend," whispered a shy little voice. "You must be strong. Go to him! Go!"

As she pulled up to her home she saw a shadow standing in her archway. A new tear rolled down her already wet face. This was a tear of joy and hope. She smiled the biggest smile she could muster out of her achy cheeks. She walked faster and faster until she noticed that there was another shadow there. It was that woman. The two people she hated most, yet loved the most at the same time, stood in the darkness of her doorway.

'What vile creatures are these? They think they can charm me?! Well I'll show them a thing or too. Jealousy is here to stay folks,' she thought as the she approached them.

"Where have you been all night, young lady!? We have been worried sick about you!" her friend called out, in the most motherly voice possible.

She couldn't help but laugh at the tone her friend had taken with her. She came back to say sarcastically, "Out with the 'Girls' partying!"

She pulled the key from her pocket and went for the door swerving around her two friends and opening the door just to shut it in their faces. Locking the door behind her, she made her way to the bathroom. All she needed way a good shower to wash away her cares. 'My two friends at the door; and the phone off the hook- perfect,' she thought.

She got into the shower and inhaled the soothing steam from her sauna. Relaxation. She breathed long and hard. What was she going to do about those vile creatures outside her door?

"I know, leave them there until morning, they will leave eventually."

She went to the linen closet and retrieved some blankets and sleeping bags. She opens the door to find no one there. 'Oh well.' And she once again locks it and heads to the closet again, and there upon the couch sat a very stubborn couple of people whom she wishes not to know at the moment.

"Nice robe!" one calls out as she walks past.

"Oh, go Fornicate Under the Command of the King Over Forest Fires! Just not when I'm around!" she yelled back at the intruders.

"Come sit and talk with us or we'll never sort this out."

She walked out of the room and into her chambers and changed. She came out fully clothed, and angrier than a hell-bent moose. She walked in and sat down across from the lovebirds.

"Yeah, what do you want!?"

"I want to talk to you. You know that you mean more to me than he ever will, why don't you believe me?"

"I've heard this before, and: Hmmm let me think... oh yes, the last time I saw you two together, you were snogging in the corner!"

"All you had to say is....."

"No, that would not have stopped you two. You two are meant for each other and that is it. I am no longer in the picture, I probably never was but I lie to myself to keep me happy. You can't help the way you feel and I can't either. Believe me I tried and have failed miserably. Now get out of my house! I don't want you here. GO AWAY!"

And with that the couple left. She sat sobbing on her couch. Then, he came back in. What a stupid man.

"I just wanted to say that I never meant to hurt you. I really did like you," he consoled.

"Yeah, I like you but I'd rather go screw your best friend!" she screamed back, mocking his weak attempt to console her and bawling after the horrid word, 'Friend,'

She looked up at him to see the face that had betrayed her heart. This time she walked away leaving him alone. Her friend had left already in hopes that the two would patch things up. She sat in her car and waited. Then out of the house came a shadow that propped herself against the wall outside the door, followed then by the daft man.

'Why can't he just leave me alone? Doesn't he know that damage he has caused?!' she bellowed in her head.

'He'll never understand. My dear, you need to make him pay,' a voice hissed.

'Yes, and he will! They both will!' she muttered as rage bubbled over the sides of the cauldron in her head.

He walked over to her and placed his huge arms about her once again, like he was embracing a scared, saddened child. He looked in to those huge empty eyes of hers. He saw nothing but contempt and hatred. He couldn't even see the luster of the steel in her haunting gaze. Her face of satin and rose petals was now turned to iron.

"How could you!" she chided with a malicious look. "How could you do this to me, I thought that you cared! Let me go!"

He held on even tighter as she struggled to get free. She tried for a few moments then gave in and cried into his shoulder as he tried to offer solace to his crying little one. In the car a smile came across the "traitor's" face as she drove away leaving the two together.

They sat and talked for hours, she in his arms, and he protecting her from the pain. Her face was no longer tarnished by the wetness of her eyes.

'Those eyes, they are so beautiful, yet so, so, so devious. What hurt and pain is hidden deep inside. Why? You have nothing to cause you anymore pain. I am here to protect you. I will never hurt you again. How I wish I could tell you. I can't stand to see my precious so sad, why are those eyes so sad? How can I change them to see the happiness that I know is inside of them?' Thoughts were racing about his head as they stood there in the archway, each wrapped into the other. Neither of them spoke, they just stood there.

The next few days were utter bliss for her. She had found the love that seemed to have been evading her all her life. She spent every waking moment thinking of him, thinking and imagining their next meeting. She was in love with him, she had fallen completely.

She was so excited about meeting him at the new club in town. She had showed up a few minutes late. She looked about the room and saw a sight that left her heart in pieces, as if a tornado, earthquake and fire had destroyed it. All she could do was look on in horror.

"What?! NO NO NO NO! Not again! I trusted him, I thought he had changed!" she kept repeating in her head. Her eyes searching for something.

"Perhaps it's not him..." It was that same traitor dancing with another woman.

"It's just a dance and it will end soon then he will see me and come back to me, the one he loves."

He never came to her; instead he kissed the woman long and hard, then sauntered out the door. She had been left at the bar with out even a glance in her direction. Sure she was a few minutes late, but could he really have not cared? She was engulfed by a cold unseen arm. The same coldness that she had experienced the first time he had deceived her. She longed to be held by him, but never, never again would she touch that foul and disgusting man

"I knew it! I said he was worthless he is nothing, the fool. My sweet, don't cry. Let me have revenge upon him and end his ways of torture upon you," uttered the famed voice. "I told you that you could never be loved, cherished, cared for. But NO! You had to believe in his lies. You let your dream and want of love ruin all that you had. And now look at you, a sniveling little doll. You're wasting time here, crying over spilt milk. You big baby, move on, get a life."

"You don't deserve a man like him; in fact, you don't deserve one at all. All you will do is cry because they will never love you back. You are a weakling. All this time I thought that you had toughened up a bit. I guess that I was wrong. Now you have doomed yourself to be alone forever, you aren't even worth our time." Each voice chimed in and then, disappeared.

She sat there, all alone. Really alone. No one there to save her from herself.

"Alone I entered, and alone I will leave."

Chapter 2

Years later, at a beautiful wedding, she looked into the eyes of the most exquisite man. He was the man of all her affections. She loved him with all her heart. Tears welled up inside her eyes, and her heart began to tremble. The most gorgeous bride began to walk down the aisle towards the groom. Her love was to wed to her bestest of friends.

"Why did I ever agree to do this?" she pained in her mind. Tears were streaming down her face. No one seemed to notice the anguish and misery in her eyes and face, for tears were a common sight at weddings. "They look so happy. He looks so happy. I could never give him the life he deserves. He loves her, not me. It will always be that way."

"How wonderful it must to be to be loved," she whispered as the lovely couple left the church. She walked to her car in the bridesmaid dress that was given to her by her friend.

"I am supposed to be over this man!" she scolded herself. A sob leapt from her mouth as she entered her car and quickly closed the door. She sat in her car and cried, as she had done so many times before. A rapping came at her window. It was her dearest friend.

"Are you alright? I mean, you left so suddenly, I thought perhaps something was wrong," he babbled almost incoherently.

She opened the door and stepped out to greet him. "Oh," she sniffed, "I'll be fine. Thank you though."

"Would you like to get some coffee or something?"

"Sure, that sounds nice."

With that the two walked down the street chatting all the way to the coffee shop. The two friends had much to talk about. He always made her laugh and he made her forget why she was mad, sad, or upset. He always seemed to bring out the best in her. They were made for each other. Soul mates.

As he left her at her door that night, she felt like she never had around him. He gave her that same feeling all the others did, but so much stronger.

"I know that this can never work. Although he gives me a feeling of comfort and safety, he is not the one," she chided herself.

"You know as well as I do, that he is meant for someone else," the voice whispered. "You know who he is that you love, but why wont you tell him? You know he loves you too. Tell him."

She sat on her front room couch and pondered along in the silence with the occasional chatterings of the other minds there.

"He is but a friend who has been there so many times before. I love him, I know I do. And I know that he loves me,but this love was never meant for marriage for it is a mutual friendship love. But it feels so much stronger. Is this feeling what true love is, or am just blinded by the lusts of the world?"

The next day she called him up and invited him to a premier social event in town. Now she could really test the affections she had. The night arrived almost unwanted for she could already feel the erroneousness of her acts.

As the night drew to a close she took a deep breath and thought to herself, "lets make this a quick and painless as possible." The sentence ran through her head a million times before coming to a conclusive right approach to the subject.

"I think I love you," she driveled with uncertainty.

Stifled at the comment he retorted with a simple yet elegant chortle, "You know that I love you, but this love a brotherly love, a cultured love of friends, nothing more. I know that there will be a man out there who can return to you an undying love that only true soul mates know. Yes I love you too, and wish only the best for you, that is all a brother can offer."

He smiled and walked her home. Nothing else was said that night except a baffled apology.

Confused and lost she stumbled into her room. She lay in her bed dazed and bewildered at the fact that she had just proclaimed her love to her best friend.

"He loves me like a sister, a relative for Heaven's sake! And I sure as hell don't live in Arkansas." She stopped short of completing her sentence when she noticed the message light blinking on her phone. She picked it up and heard a trembling voice on the other end. It was someone she did not know, but he knew her.

The girl who had betrayed her so many times knew him. He knew her. Fear trickled down her spine as she continued to hear the words he stumbled upon. He wanted to meet her.

'How can I be sure of this? It is so unexpected. How can I trust her again? How can I trust anyone again?' These thoughts tugged at her as she put the phone down. Tomorrow she could she trust again.

The morning brought a new found excitement to her veins. She dressed and readied herself for what ever may come. She ventured out side into the sunlight; she never liked the day much. It was a time of pain and abandonment, but not today, for she vowed she could not be hurt again, she would be the one to hurt.

Her raven hair invited the light to play upon it, her smooth skin felt warm in the life giving sun. Her eyes began to sparkle and shimmer again with the light within her. She walked to her car, stopping next to it she sighed relief in to the air and stepped inside.

She began to drive to the diner where she would meet the mystery man. Her excitement and adrenaline fought in her stomach as she came upon the diner. She could not stop; her foot became glued to the gas pedal. Something was telling her to just keep driving and never look back.

"It is just a diner. There will be other people there. What am I so afraid of?" Thoughts raced across her mind until they finally slammed into the wall of the decision she vowed.

She turned her car around and headed back to the diner. She struggled to tame the thought of impending pain into a cage in the back of her mind. She mustered up enough strength to leave the safety of her car and move toward to heavy glass doors. The diner appeared gray and rusted as though it had survived some sort of attack. There were dents in the peeling stucco with layers of paint trying to fill the gaps in the uncovered brick.

She reached the black mat in front of the doors. It once read welcome. She looked upon it and her mind wandered.

"Once my heart was fresh and new, the word welcome invited all to enter. But now after it was trampled by careless feet it is just as tattered as the mat before me."

She lifted her chin and with great precaution shoved one of the glass doors open. With a worried smile she glances around the room for another anxious smile. She caught the eye of a man sitting by a cracked window with a new shade drawn. He smiled and waved to her. Quickly but cautiously, she weaved her way in and out of chairs and people to the stranger. He was handsome. His bright blue eyes light up his square face, roughened from years of sun. His hair was like a fire upon his head, bright red that matched the pepper like freckles sprinkled on his face by the Supreme Creator. Green was color. His tight shirt bulged at his arms and chest. Delicately his calloused hands set his book to the side of the table and he stood to greet her. She stood at the table speechless.

Author's Note

I know it is not done......but it has been a while since I have written...and I am not sure if I like chapter two...it is supposed to be light, but that bores me....I will see how my dream takes me.

Jaa

Evil's Misstress


	2. Can it be True?

Chapter 2

Years later, at a beautiful wedding, she looked into the eyes of the most exquisite man. He was the man of all her affections. She loved him with all her heart. Tears welled up inside her eyes, and her heart began to tremble. The most gorgeous bride began to walk down the aisle towards the groom. Her love was to wed to her bestest of friends.

"Why did I ever agree to do this?" she pained in her mind. Tears were streaming down her face. No one seemed to notice the anguish and misery in her eyes and face, for tears were a common sight at weddings. "They look so happy. He looks so happy. I could never give him the life he deserves. He loves her, not me. It will always be that way."

"How wonderful it must to be to be loved," she whispered as the lovely couple left the church. She walked to her car in the bridesmaid dress that was given to her by her friend.

"I am supposed to be over this man!" she scolded herself. A sob leapt from her mouth as she entered her car and quickly closed the door. She sat in her car and cried, as she had done so many times before. A rapping came at her window. It was her dearest friend.

"Are you alright? I mean, you left so suddenly, I thought perhaps something was wrong," he babbled almost incoherently.

She opened the door and stepped out to greet him. "Oh," she sniffed, "I'll be fine. Thank you though."

"Would you like to get some coffee or something?"

"Sure, that sounds nice."

With that the two walked down the street chatting all the way to the coffee shop. The two friends had much to talk about. He always made her laugh and he made her forget why she was mad, sad, or upset. He always seemed to bring out the best in her. They were made for each other. Soul mates.

As he left her at her door that night, she felt like she never had around him. He gave her that same feeling all the others did, but so much stronger.

"I know that this can never work. Although he gives me a feeling of comfort and safety, he is not the one," she chided herself.

"You know as well as I do, that he is meant for someone else," the voice whispered. "You know who he is that you love, but why wont you tell him? You know he loves you too. Tell him."

She sat on her front room couch and pondered along in the silence with the occasional chatterings of the other minds there.

"He is but a friend who has been there so many times before. I love him, I know I do. And I know that he loves me,but this love was never meant for marriage for it is a mutual friendship love. But it feels so much stronger. Is this feeling what true love is, or am just blinded by the lusts of the world?"

The next day she called him up and invited him to a premier social event in town. Now she could really test the affections she had. The night arrived almost unwanted for she could already feel the erroneousness of her acts.

As the night drew to a close she took a deep breath and thought to herself, "lets make this a quick and painless as possible." The sentence ran through her head a million times before coming to a conclusive right approach to the subject.

"I think I love you," she driveled with uncertainty.

Stifled at the comment he retorted with a simple yet elegant chortle, "You know that I love you, but this love a brotherly love, a cultured love of friends, nothing more. I know that there will be a man out there who can return to you an undying love that only true soul mates know. Yes I love you too, and wish only the best for you, that is all a brother can offer."

He smiled and walked her home. Nothing else was said that night except a baffled apology.

Confused and lost she stumbled into her room. She lay in her bed dazed and bewildered at the fact that she had just proclaimed her love to her best friend.

"He loves me like a sister, a relative for Heaven's sake! And I sure as hell don't live in Arkansas." She stopped short of completing her sentence when she noticed the message light blinking on her phone. She picked it up and heard a trembling voice on the other end. It was someone she did not know, but he knew her.

The girl who had betrayed her so many times knew him. He knew her. Fear trickled down her spine as she continued to hear the words he stumbled upon. He wanted to meet her.

'How can I be sure of this? It is so unexpected. How can I trust her again? How can I trust anyone again?' These thoughts tugged at her as she put the phone down. Tomorrow she could she trust again.

The morning brought a new found excitement to her veins. She dressed and readied herself for what ever may come. She ventured out side into the sunlight; she never liked the day much. It was a time of pain and abandonment, but not today, for she vowed she could not be hurt again, she would be the one to hurt.

Her raven hair invited the light to play upon it, her smooth skin felt warm in the life giving sun. Her eyes began to sparkle and shimmer again with the light within her. She walked to her car, stopping next to it she sighed relief in to the air and stepped inside.

She began to drive to the diner where she would meet the mystery man. Her excitement and adrenaline fought in her stomach as she came upon the diner. She could not stop; her foot became glued to the gas pedal. Something was telling her to just keep driving and never look back.

"It is just a diner. There will be other people there. What am I so afraid of?" Thoughts raced across her mind until they finally slammed into the wall of the decision she vowed.

She turned her car around and headed back to the diner. She struggled to tame the thought of impending pain into a cage in the back of her mind. She mustered up enough strength to leave the safety of her car and move toward to heavy glass doors. The diner appeared gray and rusted as though it had survived some sort of attack. There were dents in the peeling stucco with layers of paint trying to fill the gaps in the uncovered brick.

She reached the black mat in front of the doors. It once read welcome. She looked upon it and her mind wandered.

"Once my heart was fresh and new, the word welcome invited all to enter. But now after it was trampled by careless feet it is just as tattered as the mat before me."

She lifted her chin and with great precaution shoved one of the glass doors open. With a worried smile she glances around the room for another anxious smile. She caught the eye of a man sitting by a cracked window with a new shade drawn. He smiled and waved to her. Quickly but cautiously, she weaved her way in and out of chairs and people to the stranger. He was handsome. His bright blue eyes light up his square face, roughened from years of sun. His hair was like a fire upon his head, bright red that matched the pepper like freckles sprinkled on his face by the Supreme Creator. Green was color. His tight shirt bulged at his arms and chest. Delicately his calloused hands set his book to the side of the table and he stood to greet her. She stood at the table speechless.

He stood from his seat and his well mannered face gazed intently on her and finally rested on her steel colored eyes. The eternities came and went before either of them broke the silent ice created between them. His mouth formed the words but nothing escaped but air until she reached out and fumbled for the chair.

"Excuse me, are you the one I am to meet?" she asked timidly relying on the chair for support.

"I do believe so." Came the trembling reply form his almost recovered mouth. He walked to her side of the table and lifted out her chair and gently placed it beneath her as she sat at the table.


End file.
